The Baffled Brit

Our general election has been and gone – we're now firmly in 'hung parliament' territory.  Being a tweenager of the iPod generation, this is all rather new, and quite exciting.  Well, that's what I thought before the general election.  The hullabaloo of the campaign trail gets the majority of the population chattering about who's who and what's what: not just the 'chattering class' in good ole Hampy'; while the aftermath has left us all a little dazed and confused.  How do the Germans cope? 

The whole campaign has been rather confusing.  Firstly, none of the parties has been up front about the cuts that need to be made.  We all assume that the Tories will be harsh, and that's why big business is behind them, as they know that the markets will be more confident under a budget slashing government.  While we predict that Labour and the Liberal Democrats would be more cautious, not wanting to upset the public sector and the working to middle classes.  Naturally, amid all of the smoke and mirrors, the public wasn't certain who to side with.

Perhaps the 'presidential' election debates didn't help.  One bonus was that they quashed the nationalists in Wales and Scotland, leading Alex Salmond (in a novel 'Celtic bloc') to beg the BBC for a place in what was clearly a British debate.  For goodness sake, if they were going to allow the SNP and Plaid Cymru a podium then they'd have to have accepted the English Democrats too (heaven forbid).  While I disliked the debates because they placed a little too much emphasis on the leader of the party rather than the cross-party variations, they did engage the public in discussion and often heated debate. 

Oh, did you see Cameron getting followed around by the chicken from the Daily Mail?  For days after that, I couldn't remember what came first – the chicken or the Clegg.  I'm surprised that Rupert Murdoch hasn't hired me yet.  I came up with another (subjective, I know) witty headline: 'Brown begs Duffy for mercy'.  Get it? 

Moving on …  One of the highlights of the campaign had to be the moment Boris Johnson declared devolution for London, without Conservative headquarters' prior approval.  His shopping list of ideal projects to ping-pong around the London political sphere was eventually approved (over the course of the morning), as Tory HQ knew that it couldn't back down in the middle of a concerted campaign.  Naturally, Boris's wit and charm with Londoners won him approval, despite this blundering performance.  Boris and Cameron's partnership are more similar to Blair and Ken Livingstone's relationship than we could have ever assumed.

It will be exciting to see what transpires over the coming weeks.  I doubt that the Tories will team up with the Lib Dems – at least, I cannot imagine them being fully compatible in government.  The 'yellows' will want electoral reform – not another Jenkins Commission – and this is something which the Tories will not want to bring about, in the knowledge that we'd be unlikely to have another Tory government for years to come.  I personally think that it would bring a balance between the left and the right, providing checks and balances for one another on key budget-cutting legislation.  The Lib Dems would be concerned about where the cuts fall, and how these will affect the vulnerable; while the Tories will be able to ensure that business gets what it needs.  A Lab-Lib coalition may be too sweet and nice – and this is coming from a traditional Labour voter.  If Labour want to re-energise their mission to get back into government, then Gordon may need to leave Number 10, to provide a catalyst for coalition talks with the Lib Dems.

Only time and tired David Dimbleby will tell …